Posts

Why Letting Your Kids Be Bored Might Be the Best Thing You Do for Them

Most parents think boredom is a problem. Something to fix. Something to avoid. Something that means we’re not doing enough. So we jump in… We hand them a screen. We suggest an activity. We solve it for them. But what if boredom isn’t the problem?  What if it’s actually the solution? Boredom Is Where Growth Begins We live in a world where kids are constantly entertained. And because of that… they rarely get the chance to think for themselves. Boredom feels uncomfortable.  That’s why we try to get rid of it so fast. But that uncomfortable feeling?  It’s actually what pushes kids to grow. What Research Says About Boredom Researcher Arthur C. Brooks explains that boredom isn’t something to avoid it’s something we need. When we’re bored, the brain shifts into a mode where it starts to wander, reflect, and make connections. This is when we begin to ask: What do I want to do? What am I interested in? What could I try? That’s where creativity and proble...

The Small Mistake That Makes Kids Stop Talking to Their Parents

  Learn How to Say Less… And Get Better Results I heard a quote once that has stuck with me for the past few days it went something like this: “Moms who don’t listen end up with kids who have nothing to say.” That hit me. Because recently, I noticed something in myself that I didn’t like. When my son talks to me, I sometimes feel… annoyed. He says “like” a lot. He tells me the same story over and over. And instead of really listening, I catch myself being critical in my head. Not out loud. But I know he can feel it. And I don’t want to be that kind of mom. I don’t want to be someone my kids slowly stop talking to. The Moment That Changed Me The other day, that quote came back into my mind. And I stopped. I looked at my son and apologized and said,  “I want to hear everything you have to say.” It was a small moment, but it mattered. Because the truth is… Our kids don’t just hear our words. They feel our presence. They feel when we’re distracted. They feel...

The Secret to Better Behavior? Connection.

I love Dr. Becky Kennedy. She said: "Maximizing ease and happiness in childhood doesn't create well-adjusted adults." That stopped me for a minute. Because as parents, many of us are trying to make things easier for our kids. We try to prevent frustration. We try to keep everyone happy. But that’s not actually what helps kids grow. What they really need is connection . Most parents think they have a discipline problem. But what they really have is a connection problem . When kids feel connected: they listen more they cooperate more they trust you more Connection makes everything else easier. When a child feels safe and seen by you, they are much more willing to work with you. The good news? Connection doesn’t require hours of extra time or elaborate plans. It usually happens in small moments throughout the day. Here are a few simple things you can start doing today. Simple Ways to Connect With Your Child Today Get on their level Instead of talking down to t...

A Simple Way to Help Your Kids Handle Hard Times

Recently I had a conversation with my son who is serving a mission for our church.  During our call he started sharing some of the things he had been thinking and feeling. He was being really hard on himself. He was judging himself and comparing himself to others. I think most of us do this to some extent. It’s easy to look around and feel like everyone else is doing better, working harder, or having more success. As I listened, I realized I had an opportunity to help him see something important how the way he was thinking was affecting his whole experience. Before I shared anything, I asked him if he'd be open to a little coaching? This is such an important step. Instead of jumping in with advice, it gives the other person a choice. When people feel invited instead of corrected, they are much more open to listening. He said yes. So I shared a simple model I learned when I became certified as a life coach through The Life Coach School . This framework helps us understand how...

Raising Peacemakers in a Noisy World

 Kindness Begins With Me There is a Primary song that says, “I want to be kind to everyone, for that is right you see. I say to myself, remember this kindness begins with me.” Those words have been on my mind a lot lately. As I hear things in the news, things happening in my town, and even things my kids tell me about school, I keep coming back to that simple line: kindness begins with me. If I want more love in the world, more patience in my home, and more peace in my community, it has to start with my own heart. Recently I listened to a talk by Gary E. Stevenson titled Blessed Are the Peacemakers . Several things he said really stood out to me. “Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.” He taught that being a peacemaker begins in the most basic place in our hearts. We replace contention and pride with forgiveness and love. We build bridges of cooperation and understanding. We respond with kindness. We deliberately build others up instead ...

For the Days You Can’t Listen to One More Complaint

 The Complaint Box: A Simple Way to Have Less Complaining at Home There are times when I can handle my child’s complaints with patience and calm. And then there are those other times … You know the ones when all your ears hear is whining, complaining, and negativity. Your patience is gone. Your mood is already thin. And every complaint feels like it’s drilling into your brain. That’s exactly when the Complaint Box is one of the best tools I’ve found. What Is a Complaint Box? A complaint box is exactly what it sounds like: a box where your child can “submit” their complaints instead of repeating them out loud. Here’s how it works: If your child starts complaining, instead of arguing, correcting, or shutting them down, you calmly say: “Put it in the complaint box.” Then they write down what they’re upset about and drop it inside. You read it later when you’re in a better mood and can respond more calmly. Why It Works So Well (Especially for Older Kids) I’ve been doing this ...

I'm guilty of this as a mom

I don't remember where I read this quote so long ago, but it's been on my mind recently.   “Moms who don’t listen will end up with kids who have nothing to say.” Not because moms don’t care — but because most of us are busy, tired, and juggling a million things at once. We hear our kids all day long. But listening is different. Here are a few simple ways to become a better listener — and what they can look like in everyday life. 1. Listen to listen — not to respond When our kids talk, our instinct is often to fix, correct, or defend ourselves. But listening means staying curious instead of reactive. If your child says, “You never play with me,” instead of responding with, “That’s not true,” try pausing and saying, “It sounds like you wish we had more time together.” No fixing. No arguing. Just listening. 2. Listen without judging Kids shut down quickly when they feel judged. Eye rolls, sighs, or minimizing their feelings can teach them it’s safer not to talk. If your child s...