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How to Stay Calm When Your Child Isn’t

When Your Child Is Upset… and You Feel It Too Have you ever noticed how easy it is to match your child’s mood? They’re annoyed… and suddenly you’re annoyed. They’re mad at you… and now you’re mad right back. This is called mirroring . And honestly, it’s something we all do. But here’s the problem when we mirror our kids, we’re not actually helping the situation. We’re just adding fuel to it. Instead of calming things down, everything escalates.  We’re often the ones left feeling guilty about what we said or how we reacted. What This Looks Like in Real Life The other day, my son told me I “ruined his hair” because I combed the back down. My first reaction? Roll my eyes. Get annoyed. Say, “Fine, do it yourself then.” Or when your child is upset with you, it’s so tempting to get defensive… or even have that quiet thought of, “ I’ll show you .” But that never works. It just makes things worse for them and for us. 3 Ways to Stop Mirroring Your Child 1. Notice It Awarenes...
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Small activity, BIG brain benefits

We all know that if we want stronger muscles, we have to use them. We don’t get stronger by sitting still we get stronger by doing things that take effort. Our brains work the same way. If we want our kids to have stronger, smarter, more resilient brains… they need opportunities to use them. That means: doing hard things trying new things working through things that feel a little uncomfortable solving puzzles or figuring things out That’s how the brain grows. Simple, everyday activities can do this in a big way especially for young kids. One of those activities is using both hands at the same time to follow patterns like zig-zags or dots. It might look like just a fun little exercise, but there’s actually a lot happening inside the brain.  You can see an example HERE. When kids use both hands together, they’re activating both sides of the brain and strengthening the connection between them through the corpus callosum . And just like a muscle, the more that conn...
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Why Letting Your Kids Be Bored Might Be the Best Thing You Do for Them

Most parents think boredom is a problem. Something to fix. Something to avoid. Something that means we’re not doing enough. So we jump in… We hand them a screen. We suggest an activity. We solve it for them. But what if boredom isn’t the problem?  What if it’s actually the solution? Boredom Is Where Growth Begins We live in a world where kids are constantly entertained. And because of that… they rarely get the chance to think for themselves. Boredom feels uncomfortable.  That’s why we try to get rid of it so fast. But that uncomfortable feeling?  It’s actually what pushes kids to grow. What Research Says About Boredom Researcher Arthur C. Brooks explains that boredom isn’t something to avoid it’s something we need. When we’re bored, the brain shifts into a mode where it starts to wander, reflect, and make connections. This is when we begin to ask: What do I want to do? What am I interested in? What could I try? That’s where creativity and proble...
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The Small Mistake That Makes Kids Stop Talking to Their Parents

  Learn How to Say Less… And Get Better Results I heard a quote once that has stuck with me for the past few days it went something like this: “Moms who don’t listen end up with kids who have nothing to say.” That hit me. Because recently, I noticed something in myself that I didn’t like. When my son talks to me, I sometimes feel… annoyed. He says “like” a lot. He tells me the same story over and over. And instead of really listening, I catch myself being critical in my head. Not out loud. But I know he can feel it. And I don’t want to be that kind of mom. I don’t want to be someone my kids slowly stop talking to. The Moment That Changed Me The other day, that quote came back into my mind. And I stopped. I looked at my son and apologized and said,  “I want to hear everything you have to say.” It was a small moment, but it mattered. Because the truth is… Our kids don’t just hear our words. They feel our presence. They feel when we’re distracted. They feel...
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The Secret to Better Behavior? Connection.

I love Dr. Becky Kennedy. She said: "Maximizing ease and happiness in childhood doesn't create well-adjusted adults." That stopped me for a minute. Because as parents, many of us are trying to make things easier for our kids. We try to prevent frustration. We try to keep everyone happy. But that’s not actually what helps kids grow. What they really need is connection . Most parents think they have a discipline problem. But what they really have is a connection problem . When kids feel connected: they listen more they cooperate more they trust you more Connection makes everything else easier. When a child feels safe and seen by you, they are much more willing to work with you. The good news? Connection doesn’t require hours of extra time or elaborate plans. It usually happens in small moments throughout the day. Here are a few simple things you can start doing today. Simple Ways to Connect With Your Child Today Get on their level Instead of talking down to t...
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A Simple Way to Help Your Kids Handle Hard Times

Recently I had a conversation with my son who is serving a mission for our church.  During our call he started sharing some of the things he had been thinking and feeling. He was being really hard on himself. He was judging himself and comparing himself to others. I think most of us do this to some extent. It’s easy to look around and feel like everyone else is doing better, working harder, or having more success. As I listened, I realized I had an opportunity to help him see something important how the way he was thinking was affecting his whole experience. Before I shared anything, I asked him if he'd be open to a little coaching? This is such an important step. Instead of jumping in with advice, it gives the other person a choice. When people feel invited instead of corrected, they are much more open to listening. He said yes. So I shared a simple model I learned when I became certified as a life coach through The Life Coach School . This framework helps us understand how...
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Raising Peacemakers in a Noisy World

 Kindness Begins With Me There is a Primary song that says, “I want to be kind to everyone, for that is right you see. I say to myself, remember this kindness begins with me.” Those words have been on my mind a lot lately. As I hear things in the news, things happening in my town, and even things my kids tell me about school, I keep coming back to that simple line: kindness begins with me. If I want more love in the world, more patience in my home, and more peace in my community, it has to start with my own heart. Recently I listened to a talk by Gary E. Stevenson titled Blessed Are the Peacemakers . Several things he said really stood out to me. “Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.” He taught that being a peacemaker begins in the most basic place in our hearts. We replace contention and pride with forgiveness and love. We build bridges of cooperation and understanding. We respond with kindness. We deliberately build others up instead ...
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