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Our kids behavior is not who they are.

What if the behavior you're seeing isn't really about who your child is, but about what they're feeling? Kids, just like adults, act based on what is going on inside of them. When they're frustrated, overwhelmed, disappointed, embarrassed, lonely, or tired, it often comes out in their behavior. Sometimes it comes out as yelling, whining, arguing, refusing to listen, or fighting with a sibling. And sometimes, let's be honest, we look at our child and think, "Why are you being such a brat?" But when we separate the behavior from their identity, we give them room to grow. A child can make a bad choice without being a bad kid. A child can act selfishly and still be a generous person. A child can lie and still become an honest person. A child can be disrespectful and still be a kind, respectful person. What if instead of focusing only on the behavior, we got curious about what might be underneath it? Maybe your child isn't being difficult. Maybe they're...

No More Yelling. No More Threats. No More Parenting Regrets.

We have SO much power to influence the lives of our children. The way we speak to them, respond to them, and handle the hard moments matters. Let's be honest. Parenting can be so frustrating. We get overwhelmed, lose our patience, raise our voices, and sometimes say things we wish we could take back. But what if yelling, threatening, and reacting in frustration didn't have to be our default? What if we could parent with more intention, confidence, and connection? You don't have to be a perfect parent. You just need to learn a different way. Inside my coaching program, we'll focus on three things: 1. Regulate Yourself First . Learn to manage your own emotions so your child's behavior doesn't dictate your response.  This can be easier said than done.  Try taking three deep breaths. 2. Change the Way You See Your Child . Stop viewing behaviors as personal attacks and start responding with understanding, compassion, patience, and intention.  One of the thoughts that...

What Most Parents Think

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When your kids are fighting what do you do? When your child says something rude to you what do you do? When your teen comes home late what do you do? When your toddler spills their entire bowl of cereal and milk what do you do? It's easy to react and yell at them or say something you later regret.   If I could teach you ONE THING to help it would be to PAUSE.   Most parents think  that things need to be dealt with in the moment.  But,  pausing and waiting are SO beneficial. There is always an option to pause and take a deep breath before we react.  This allows for a more calm response.  Sometimes I will let a few days go by.  It's still on my mind and we still talk about it or enforce a consequence.  But, waiting allows me to calm down and not say anything I wished I hadn't.   Recently one of my kids said something rude on the way home from school.  There was an event he didn't want to attend because he'd be missing s...

What Is a Good Mom?

The other day, I saw a woman's shirt that read, “Good Moms Yell.” I laughed to myself, but then I kept thinking about it. What is a good mom? Parenting is tricky. There is no one right way to do it. What works for one mom might not work for another. What works for one child might not work for another child. Every child is different, every family is different, and we are all figuring it out as we go. So, what makes someone a good mom? Here are a few things I thought of. Good moms still yell. Good moms still say the wrong thing. Good moms mess up. Good moms regret what they say. Good moms forget things. Good moms cry. Good moms feel frustrated. Good moms have days when they wonder if they are getting anything right. Good moms apologize and move on. Good moms ask for coaching and help. Good moms take care of their own needs so they can be more present for their families. Good moms are kind and compassionate with themselves. Good moms are human beings who are trying their best. And goo...

When Your Kids Are Getting on Your Nerves: 3 Things to Try

 Relationships with our kids ebb and flow. Some days, we feel connected, patient, and happy to be around them. Other days, everything they do seems to get on our nerves. The chewing, the arguing, the whining, the messes… even the little things can feel BIG. If you find yourself feeling more annoyed or bugged by your child than you'd like, it doesn't mean you're a bad parent or that something is wrong with your relationship. It might just be time to pause and reset. Here are three things you can do to help. 1. Get It All Out of Your Head Grab a piece of paper and write down everything you're thinking about your child right now. The good, the bad, and the ugly. Maybe you're thinking, Why does he always have to argue with me? Why can't she just do what I ask? He is so inconsiderate. I'm so tired of dealing with this. Write it all down. Don't filter yourself or worry about whether your thoughts are nice. This isn't something you need to show anyone. It...

One piece of advice I haven't forgotten that makes me a better mom.

When our kids were young, my husband once asked a coworker how she had such a great relationship with her kids. Her answer has always stuck with me: “We never stopped playing with them.” At the time, our kids were little, and playing with them felt pretty natural. We built forts, played games, wrestled, ran around outside, pretended, laughed, and did all the silly things that come naturally when you have little kids. But as kids get older, something starts to change.  We slowly stop playing. And I get it. Life gets busier. They become more independent. They don't need us to entertain them the way they did when they were three. And honestly, I think I sometimes started to believe that playing was something I did when my kids were little not something I needed to continue as they grew. But playing is one of the easiest ways to build a relationship with your kids. It doesn't have to be complicated. And it doesn't have to take much time. A few months ago, I had one of ...

The Most Amazing Thing Happend

The most amazing thing happened. First off I want to say parenting is hard.  There are many times I don't know what to do.  One child is upset about not getting what they want and think I'm siding with the one child, but if I let the other have "their" way then the other feels upset.  AND neither is right and neither is wrong.   The other day one of my twins was feeling disappointed.  They were going to play with each other and Austin changed his mind.  Carter felt disappointed and upset that Austin said yes then said no. I was talking to Carter and telling him how he could try and ask if Austin would play with him for 10 min. Or that sometimes people just change their mind and we feel disappointed.   He started saying some rude things and bothering Austin.  I said, "I won't let you talk to him like that.  If you continue we will leave."  (SETTING A BOUNDARY IS SOMETHING I WILL DO) I started thinking, " he's such a brat ." and ...