Why “Notice” Works Better Than Praise

 One small word can make a big difference in our kids’ behavior: notice.

When we use the word notice, it lands differently than praise. It feels more real and more personal. Instead of evaluating our kids, we’re simply seeing them.

A simple way to practice this is at bedtime. Each night, when you say goodnight, tell your child one thing you noticed about them that day.

“I noticed you said thank you at dinner.”
“I noticed you shared with your sister.”
“I noticed you hung your backpack up when you got home.”
“I love you.”

That’s it. You don’t need to add anything else. Just notice.

We don’t have to decide if what they did was good or bad. We don’t have to say “good job” or “great work.” There’s nothing wrong with those phrases, but they’re vague and can start to sound flat over time. Noticing is specific, and kids feel it.

When we notice our kids, they feel seen. And the more we notice the positive things, the more we begin to see them. Then, naturally, our kids do more of those things. It becomes a virtuous cycle.

Start tonight. Notice something small. See how it feels for you, and watch what happens in your child’s behavior.

A few carefully chosen words can truly alter a person’s mindset—especially when that person is your child.

-Megan

If you want more ideas to help your relationship with your child reach out to me 435-760-2590 I can help.