The 3 scripts you HAVE to use with your kids

As a parenting coach I talk to many parents that feel frustrated with their kids, especially those teens.  Sheesh, they can be tricky, but I have found having these three phrases in your back pocket make parenting a little🤏🏼 bit easier.  Here they are what the benefits are.

"Try again." 
I use this ALL THE TIME.  When my son says, "bruh, can you come get me?"  I say, "try again."  I've used this his whole life so he knows what I mean, "can you please come get me?"   I'll say it when I feel like their tone is mean, angry, or when they are demanding or impatient.

I love try again because it assumes good in our child.  It allows me to feel calm and not get mad and think my kids are talking back.  My kids also use it with me😂, which I am thankful for.  I am human too, and sometimes don't speak very kindly.  

"I notice(d)..."
Humans want to be seen, heard, and noticed.  When we notice our kids we are giving them the message that you matter.  Sometimes when I don't know what to say or I can't think of a compliment I'll say, "I noticed you made your bed."  I notice you were patient, kind to your brother, helpful, etc.
I sometimes use this phrase when I'm telling my kids good night.  I feel better about me and them.  

What I love about using the phrase I notice is that I don't have to add anything to it.  You don't have to say, that's great, good job, way to go.  Keep it simple!

If you want to take it one step further write it down.  I have written something I notice about my kids for years and it's fun to look back and remember things I'd forgotten.  They enjoy reading them too.  Which strengthens our relationship.


"I believe you..."
I hadn't really noticed that I use this phrase until I heard Becky Kennedy talking about and emphasizing it.  
VALIDATION goes a long way in a relationship.  Using this phrase is validating.  

When your child is mad😡 you said no about something, "I believe you."
When your kid is sad😢 to leave you to go to school, "I believe you."
When your daughter is annoyed🙄 that you won't let her sleep over at her friends, "I believe you."
When your son is frustrated😧 with getting his hair just right, "I believe you."

Our kids are the best feelers of THEIR feelings, so just believe them.  In a way this is so freeing for me because I don't have to fix anything or try and make them feel better.  Actually the best thing to do is believe them and sit with them (be there with them whatever that looks like), and help them learn to process those feelings.  

Use these!  I know they will help in your relationships.

Sincerely,
Megan

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