The Secret to Better Behavior? Connection.


I love Dr. Becky Kennedy. She said:

"Maximizing ease and happiness in childhood doesn't create well-adjusted adults."

That stopped me for a minute.

Because as parents, many of us are trying to make things easier for our kids.
We try to prevent frustration.
We try to keep everyone happy.

But that’s not actually what helps kids grow.

What they really need is connection.

Most parents think they have a discipline problem.

But what they really have is a connection problem.

When kids feel connected:

  • they listen more

  • they cooperate more

  • they trust you more

Connection makes everything else easier.

When a child feels safe and seen by you, they are much more willing to work with you.

The good news?

Connection doesn’t require hours of extra time or elaborate plans.
It usually happens in small moments throughout the day.

Here are a few simple things you can start doing today.

Simple Ways to Connect With Your Child Today

Get on their level
Instead of talking down to them from across the room, kneel or sit so you're eye to eye. It immediately changes how the interaction feels.

Give a random hug
Not because they did something great. Just because they are yours.

Look them in the eyes when they talk
Put the phone down. Stop what you're doing for a minute. Eye contact tells a child, “You matter to me.”

Ask their opinion
Kids love to feel like their thoughts matter.
“Which dinner should we make tonight?”
“Where should we go this weekend?”

Ask about something they care about
Their favorite video game.
A show they like.
A friend at school.

Even if it's not interesting to you, it is interesting to them. And that matters.

Spend 5 minutes of child led time
Let them choose the activity.
No correcting.
No teaching.
Just being with them.

Connection grows in these small moments.

And when connection grows, cooperation usually follows.

xoxo,
Megan

Want to Learn How to Parent With More Connection?

This is exactly why I created my Connection Over Control Parenting Class.

In this four week class we talk about the 4 C's of parenting:

Connection – building a strong relationship with your child
Communication – how to talk so kids actually listen
Coaching – guiding kids through emotions and mistakes
Confidence – raising kids who believe in themselves

These are simple tools you can use every day that make parenting feel calmer and more intentional.

If you're tired of yelling, repeating yourself, or feeling like nothing is working, this class will give you practical tools that help.

Because when connection comes first, everything else gets easier.

CLICK HERE for more details. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

A Simple Way to Help Your Kids Handle Hard Times

Recently I had a conversation with my son who is serving a mission for our church.  During our call he started sharing some of the things he had been thinking and feeling. He was being really hard on himself. He was judging himself and comparing himself to others. I think most of us do this to some extent. It’s easy to look around and feel like everyone else is doing better, working harder, or having more success. As I listened, I realized I had an opportunity to help him see something important how the way he was thinking was affecting his whole experience. Before I shared anything, I asked him if he'd be open to a little coaching? This is such an important step. Instead of jumping in with advice, it gives the other person a choice. When people feel invited instead of corrected, they are much more open to listening. He said yes. So I shared a simple model I learned when I became certified as a life coach through The Life Coach School . This framework helps us understand how...
Read more

One thing I do for better relationships

So much of our relationships are our thoughts about the other person.   If you are having a hard time with anyone START with your thoughts.  What do you think about that person.  This isn't for you to feel bad about yourself for how you are thinking.   TRY THIS👇🏻 One thing I do almost every day is take a few minutes at the end of the day and write one thing about each of my kids. I have a lined sheet of paper for each child with their name at the top.  I spent a few moments and think about them.  I write something nice they did, something I noticed, something funny they said or did.   Our brains are SO good at looking for evidence to support what we are thinking so this helps me to look for the good in them and make a mental note of it.  I FEEL so much better about them which improves our relationship.   No one is perfect so I still get plenty of frustration and annoyance, but I know how to help feel less of the negative emo...
Read more

The 3 scripts you HAVE to use with your kids

As a parenting coach I talk to many parents that feel frustrated with their kids, especially those teens.  Sheesh, they can be tricky, but I have found having these three phrases in your back pocket make parenting a little🤏🏼 bit easier.  Here they are what the benefits are. "Try again."   I use this ALL THE TIME.  When my son says, "bruh, can you come get me?"  I say, "try again."  I've used this his whole life so he knows what I mean, "can you please come get me?"   I'll say it when I feel like their tone is mean, angry, or when they are demanding or impatient. I love try again because it assumes good in our child.  It allows me to feel calm and not get mad and think my kids are talking back.  My kids also use it with me😂, which I am thankful for.  I am human too, and sometimes don't speak very kindly.   "I notice(d)..." Humans want to be seen, heard, and noticed.  When we notice our kids we are giving them the me...
Read more