Communication the 2nd C in not fighting with your kids

Hi,

Communication can tricky because there is what is said and what we make it mean.  Vice versa what we say and what others make it mean.

What is said.
What is heard.
How it's interpreted.

What's the first thing your kids hear when they wake up, get home from school, home from a friends house, spill something?

How are we approaching our kids?  

Are we blaming?  OR Asking questions. 

You didn’t do your chores.    vs.   What did you get done that I asked you to?

You didn’t do your reading    vs.    Tell me about the book you are reading right now. Have you read                                                                today? You didn’t ask to…                vs.    In the future I’d love it if you asked for fruit snacks or go to your                                                                  friends.  It’s important to me to know where you are.  


Communicating effectively will help you as the parent get more of what you want.  It will also help keep the door of communication open between you and your child.

For example a few days before Christmas I asked my two teens if they wanted to go to this certain store while their little brothers were at basketball practice.  They both said yes.

When it was time to go one of my sons was playing Fortnight and didn't want to stop.  I was annoyed that he said he wanted to go then said he wanted to play that.  I'll spare the details my husband got him to come and in the car my son said, "why couldn't we go later?"  I explained that the younger boys had to be at practice at 5:00.  He said, "I thought we were taking two cars and we would meet at the store."


In his mind we didn't need to leave so fast because we were taking two cars.  In my mind we needed to leave at 4:50 for them to be on time then go to the store.  

Sometimes this is how we end up arguing and fighting when each person has a different story in their mind.  But, we didn't fight.  He was annoyed and I said what I said then said nothing.  


Thankfully we didn't fight.  But, I see and hear so many examples like this that could be avoided if we would communicate differently.

 

I want to offer two things you can try:

  1. Ask yourself what am I making this mean?
  2. Use I statements for example I thought...  I made what you said mean...
That's a start.  Just using these two things will help your communication.  Better communication = better relationships.  

I'm teaching a four part parenting series starting January 10 to help you learn to never fight with your kids again.  I will teach you more in each of these areas so that you will have the skills to never fight again.
The parenting C'crets

  • Connection
  • Communication
  • Confidence
  • Coaching

To get on the interest list click HERE.  If you have questions reply to this or send me a direct message on Instagram click HERE.

xoxo,
Megan


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