Megan Whitesides Coaching

I love to read to my kids.  Sometimes I'm tired and don't want to. I want my kids to brush their teeth.  Sometimes they are tired and don't want to. When I am tired and ready for them to go to bed I get more demanding and impatient.   Just like me when they are tired they get more demanding and impatient. I don't like being demanding and impatient.  Thankfully this is not the norm and what is the norm is to BE PATIENT and make things MORE FUN. Thankfully through coaching I have learned to be more patient and make things fun come more naturally and easily, I can help you make that your norm too. One way to do that is by asking myself good questions. How can I make this more fun? The purpose of the task is to strengthen the relationship. What kind of mom do I want to be? How can I get what I want done the fastest? We can get our kids to do what we want by being demanding, but it's not helping our relationships.  Try having more fun.   Turn things in...

  Don't ask you kids WHY? Just kidding, actually I really like the question why, but when you ask it out of frustration and anger it's not really useful. When your kids are fighting and one hurts the other we often jump in and say, "WHY did you do that?"  If they break something or spill something and we ask why, they don't have an answer. In situations like this I don't think asking why is very useful. They aren't in their thinking brain and will often start to defend themselves.  Which will turn into a fight. SO........ To get better answers and get our kids into their thinking brain I recommend asking open ended questions and get curious.  We first have to learn to manage our own feelings so we aren't so reactive.  When WE learn to stay calm then we are able to get curious and asking these types of questions comes more naturally and easily. Why do you think you were mad? What were you feeling? What's going on? Help me understand why... What can ...

How do you feel when you hear or say GOOD JOB!  For me it's kind of bleh.  Not much emotion. When talking to our kids and we say good job, it's fine, but it's not very powerful.  What if our words could convey more feeling? What if you could make someone's day just by saying something you notice about them. Good job isn't specific, it's not real powerful, and it's easy to say.  We don't have to think much. When I use my brain to think harder and think about something more specific it feels better to me and to my kids. Here are a few examples: I notice you put your shoes away. I noticed how nicely you played with your sister. I noticed how you tried to help your siblings when they were fighting. I noticed how hard you tried. I liked when you talked to your teacher about that problem. I notice how kind you are to your friends. I noticed you made your bed. I'm proud of you. Wow, I can tell you cleaned. How good does it feel to be NOTICED? Taking time t...

  One SIMPLE way to have a better relationship with your kids is to start thinking better about them.  When we think better, we feel better, and act better. How do you talk to your spouse, mom, sister, friend about your teen or 5 year old?   Let your kids overhear you talking good about them.  Do it intentionally.  You'll be amazed that their behavior will improve. I'm not saying we feel great about them all the time.  But, try to think better about them more often than thinking negatively.   LOOK for when they are kind, fun, funny, make their bed, put away some dishes, help out, smile, content, talkative, etc.  Instead of your focus being on what they aren't doing or complaining etc. How could you improve your thoughts? What would change if you stopped complaining about them? Validation helps sometimes, but it keeps you in a victim mentality.   You want a great relationship with your kids work on yourself first! Start small: Every day a...