Don't ask your kids why ask this instead

 Don't ask you kids WHY?


Just kidding, actually I really like the question why, but when you ask it out of frustration and anger it's not really useful.

When your kids are fighting and one hurts the other we often jump in and say, "WHY did you do that?" 
If they break something or spill something and we ask why, they don't have an answer.

In situations like this I don't think asking why is very useful.

They aren't in their thinking brain and will often start to defend themselves.  Which will turn into a fight.

SO........

To get better answers and get our kids into their thinking brain I recommend asking open ended questions and get curious.  We first have to learn to manage our own feelings so we aren't so reactive.  When WE learn to stay calm then we are able to get curious and asking these types of questions comes more naturally and easily.

Why do you think you were mad?
What were you feeling?
What's going on?
Help me understand why...
What can I do for you?

Asking open ended questions helps to open the door for communication, helps to create more connection and better relationships.

When we ask why, why, why our kids will feel like they are being interrogated.

Asking open ended questions allows for more communication.

Better communication = better relationships

Have a great day,
Megan

Through coaching and prayer I have been able to build great relationships with my kids and you can have that too, let me guide you.  I was always so scared to have teens and now I have two!  They are so fun and it's been SO much better than I thought it would be.  You can have a great relationship with your teens too, let me guide you.  If you are butting heads with your child and it seems to be more difficult than usual this is normal, but I can teach you different communication skills that will help.  If your 4 YO has anger issues and becomes violent, let me help.

I have three 1:1 coaching spots left available for March.  Send me a text 435-760-2590 and we can chat.  $197 for 4 weeks and $297 for 6 weeks.  They will fill up I have two filled.  

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