One piece of advice I haven't forgotten that makes me a better mom.

When our kids were young, my husband once asked a coworker how she had such a great relationship with her kids.

Her answer has always stuck with me:

“We never stopped playing with them.”

At the time, our kids were little, and playing with them felt pretty natural. We built forts, played games, wrestled, ran around outside, pretended, laughed, and did all the silly things that come naturally when you have little kids.

But as kids get older, something starts to change.  We slowly stop playing.

And I get it. Life gets busier. They become more independent. They don't need us to entertain them the way they did when they were three.

And honestly, I think I sometimes started to believe that playing was something I did when my kids were little not something I needed to continue as they grew.

But playing is one of the easiest ways to build a relationship with your kids.

It doesn't have to be complicated. And it doesn't have to take much time.

A few months ago, I had one of those moments where a simple thought completely shifted the way I looked at something.

My son was outside playing what we call the “roof game.”

It's exactly what it sounds like. You throw a football onto the roof and try to catch it when it comes back down.

He asked me, “Mom, do you want to play the roof game with me?”

I was making dinner.

My normal response probably would have been something like, “In a few minutes,” or “Maybe later.”

But this time, I had a thought:

He isn't always going to ask me.

What happens if I keep telling him no?

Eventually, he may stop asking.

So I put down what I was doing and went outside.

I played the roof game with him for a few minutes.

That's it.

A few minutes.

But those few minutes mattered.

And since then, I've tried to say yes more often.

My husband is especially good at this. He is almost always willing to play. If one of the kids asks him to throw the football, shoot baskets, wrestle, play a game, or do something silly, he's usually in.

And I've realized that I don't need to make playing into some big parenting activity.

Playing is simply being with them.

It doesn't mean we should feel guilty when we can't say yes. Sometimes we're busy. Sometimes we're tired. Sometimes we genuinely can't stop what we're doing. And that's okay.

But I do think there are probably more opportunities to say yes than we realize.

Maybe it's five minutes of shooting baskets.

Maybe it's throwing a football.

Maybe it's letting your child teach you a new game.

Maybe it's sitting on the floor and playing Legos.

Maybe it's having a ridiculous dance party in the kitchen.

Maybe it's racing them to the car.

Maybe it's letting them convince you to play the game you've played 47 times already.

It doesn't have to look like traditional “playing.”

The important part is that for those few minutes, you're entering their world.

A few things that help me say yes more:

It doesn't have to take long.

Sometimes I only have 5–10 minutes. That's enough.

I can play for five minutes and then go back to what I was doing.

I don't need an outcome.

I'm not trying to turn playing into a teaching moment or use it to have a meaningful conversation.

I'm just being with my kid.

I let them choose.

If they want to play the roof game, we play the roof game.

If they want me to shoot baskets, I'll shoot baskets.

If they want to show me something that seems completely uninteresting to me, I try to remember that it's interesting to them.

And maybe that's the real point.

Our kids won't always remember the things we bought them or the perfectly planned activities we did.

But they may remember that when they asked,

“Mom, will you play with me?”

sometimes we put down what we were doing and said,

“Yes.”

Because maybe one of the simplest ways to stay connected to our kids as they grow is to never completely stop playing with them.

xoxo,
Megan

That's why I created Brain Games and Emotional Skills For Kids.  They are simple 1-10 min. games you can play with your kids.  It's also teaching them at the same time.  Reply "Games" to this post and I'll send them to you.  It's 15 pages (mostly black and white) with easy to understand instructions.  Start playing with your kids TODAY.

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