Megan Whitesides Coaching

As a parenting coach I talk to many parents that feel frustrated with their kids, especially those teens.  Sheesh, they can be tricky, but I have found having these three phrases in your back pocket make parenting a little🤏🏼 bit easier.  Here they are what the benefits are. "Try again."   I use this ALL THE TIME.  When my son says, "bruh, can you come get me?"  I say, "try again."  I've used this his whole life so he knows what I mean, "can you please come get me?"   I'll say it when I feel like their tone is mean, angry, or when they are demanding or impatient. I love try again because it assumes good in our child.  It allows me to feel calm and not get mad and think my kids are talking back.  My kids also use it with me😂, which I am thankful for.  I am human too, and sometimes don't speak very kindly.   "I notice(d)..." Humans want to be seen, heard, and noticed.  When we notice our kids we are giving them the message t

I was having a conversation with one of my teens recently and he was telling me some of the worries he has about the future and some things he wants in his future.  He was getting overwhelmed thinking about how it'll all work and how to have enough $.   As I talked to him I was filled with compassion and love for him.  So OFTEN we see our kids, especially teens, outward behaviors as rude, negative, selfish, etc.  Underneath most of their behaviors is some sort of fear.  I believe it's our job as parents to look past the "bad" behavior and try to see them for who they are. If we can find the small opportunities to have deeper conversations we WILL LEARN SO MUCH about them and who they are.  It'll be easier to see past their behaviors.   It takes a willingness to listen and not just offer suggestions, help or try to fix.  The more I listened the more he talked (which is rare), and then the more he listened to me.  I told him he's doing so well.  He's such a

We ask ourselves questions all the time. A lot of time we don't answer the questions. Often they are poor questions we are asking.   So, set a timer for 5-10 min. and start writing.   What kind of mom do I want to be? How can I have more fun with my kids? How can I connect with my kids? What kind of mom do I want to be when my child yells at me, talks back, whines, forgets to put away their stuff, etc.?  Being specific will help us actually respond instead of react. What are the parameters that I set to know I'm a "good mom". How can I measure if I'm making progress? What rules/expectations do I want to follow through with? What does my child need when he/she is having a tantrum? What was my child feeling right before he/she yelled? What do I need so I can be calm and respond instead of react? If you take time to answer these, I know you will see results in your family.  Being a parent is hard, and there isn't one right way.  BUT, when we feel like we are bein

When your kids are fighting what do you usually do? When your child says something rude to you what do you usually do? When your teen comes home late what do you do? When your toddler spills their entire bowl of cereal and milk what do you do? It's easy to react and yell at them or say something you later regret.   If I could teach you ONE THING to help it would be to PAUSE.   Most parents think that things need to be handled, addressed, dealt with in the moment.  But, pausing and waiting are SO beneficial.   There is always an option to pause and take a deep breath before we react.  This allows for a more calm response.  Sometimes I will let a few days go by.  It's still on my mind and we still talk about it or enforce a consequence.  But, waiting allows me to calm down and not say anything I wished I hadn't.   Recently one of my kids said something rude on the way home from school.  There was an even he didn't want to attend because he'd be missing something else

Do you kids fight? I think they all do to some extent.   The more I learn, study, test and apply I learn what does and doesn't work.  Here are a few things you can do that will help to have less sibling fights and contention in your home. 1.  Think good about your child.  This is possible, but not always easy to do.  I like to make it a practice.  Here is what I like to do.  Most days at the end of the day I like to write down something I noticed about my kids.  Something kind, cute, funny, they did or said.  I also have a picture of them on the mirror in my bathroom as I get ready I like to look at those pictures and think how cute, kind, sweet, fun, and funny they are.  I like to ask myself, why am I thankful for _______? 2.  Compassion  Compassion is understanding.  Why are they fighting?  Usually one or both kids are feeling: mad, sad, frustrated, annoyed, irritated, bugged, upset, etc.  When we can PAUSE and remember they are good and are feeling ______ that allows us to enter

 I have been helping a few people that have said, "I'm done."  One lady is a 74 year old grandma that is helping raise three teens.   I get it, parenting is hard.  It's SO worth it.  For the growth that we get, but also for the kids.  Don't give up on you or them.   Parenting doesn't have to be so hard.  I think we make it WAY harder than it needs to be.  We make things a big deal that don't need to be.  We have many rules that must be followed.  We try and control it all.  I have a free resource you can get  HERE  that will help you decide what is important to you and what you do want to control.  It will also help you to get your kids to do things you want, without nagging, yelling, or reminding 80x. I'm not saying any of this is wrong. But, I'm offering a different perspective.  What if we only had a handful of things we enforced?  It would make your job as the parent easier.   I know we love our kids, but sometimes forget to FEEL LOVE.  When we