Megan Whitesides Coaching

What to do when you don't know what to do. Parenting can be hard.  There are times when I don't know what to do when: The kids are fighting. My teen comes home late. My son is having a tantrum. My son is crying. My child can't sleep. I feel mad, annoyed, irritated, etc. and I want to threaten and have all these consequences, but I know in the moment I am reacting.   As much as possible I try to keep my mouth shut until I am calmer so I don't say anything I regret. So here are a few things you can think that will help you to know what to do. 1.  ALLOW whatever feeling you are feeling.  Sometimes I feel bad that I feel annoyed and am not as kind as I'd like to be.  I am actually resisting what I'm feeling and that makes it worse.  So just LET yourself feel whatever you are in the moment.   2. REMIND yourself that this is just a moment.  You won't feel like this forever.  Find a phrase you believe that helps you remember not to react i...

If you want to feel better and fight less with your teen use  MGI (most generous interpretation) .  I learned this phrase from Dr. Becky Kennedy.   When my son was ornery the other night and a little snippy with everyone.  I thought he's probably tired.  I mentioned it to him and he said yes.  I said, "I know you're tired, you'll feel better in the morning." When my son was getting ready for school and came out and said loudly, "you won't help me."  I noticed he was frustrated and asked why?  He was trying to unstick a bandaid that had stuck together.  I said, "I'll just get you a new one, let's get ready for school." When my son said, "we always have the worst dinners."  I thought he doesn't like this one meal and he's hungry.  I said, "I bet you're hungry if you don't want this you can make yourself some toast." I believe that most people are doing the best they can, that most people have good i...

One thing you can do that will change your life is to write for 5 min. a day. Sometimes I think I don't have enough time to write, but when I think it's only for 5 min. my brain is on board and I set a timer and go. What do I write about?  So many things. Just last night I was feeling a little overwhelmed and urgent to get so many things done so I set a timer for 4.37😂 and I wrote all the things I think I should, want, and have to do.  Once I was done I went to bed. Did this solve all my to do's, NO, but I sure felt SO much better and today.  I was able to look over that list and prioritize. Here are a few common journal prompts that I write about. What am I thinking right now? What kind of mom do I want to be today? What kind fo wife do I want to be? What do I want and need? What do I think about so and so (usually I'm writing about my thoughts about a specific child)? What do I enjoy doing? How can I make my life more fun and enjoyable? How can I strengthen my relat...

I believe it's our job as parents to teach our kids about their emotions.  I think society is getting better with it being more talked about. Here are three steps you can use to start talking more about feelings in your home and as a result have less yelling, fighting, and arguing. This can be so simple when kids are young you can use phrases like, "I notice you seem mad." "I hear loud voices in here." "You have some big feelings." "It's ok to cry." "You seem concerned." Just acknowledging the feeling is the   first step .  That's easy to do with our kids.   The   2nd step   is to ask your child if they were/are feeling more   worried or concerned embarrassed or shy. When we give them options we help them to put a name to what they are feeling.  Often they don't know what they are feeling so we offer suggestions and let them decide. Step 3   get some sort of feelings chart you can hang somewhere. I'm always surprised...

Recently we were at my son's soccer game, 15-16 yr old boys.  I do and don't like watching the older kids play because they get so physical.   At one point in the game there was an argument then a player on the opposing team picked up one of our players and threw him to the ground and started wrestling him.  It was crazy!  The ref gave that player a red card, and he was out.   A short time later that player and his dad went to their car which was parked right behind where we were sitting.  I didn't hear anything that was said, but it seemed that there was a lecture going on.   After the game I said to my husband, "that boy didn't want to do that, that's not who he is.  I'm sure he felt so angry that's how he reacted.  He might already feel bad enough that he doesn't need a lecture.  When we do stuff like that and don't have compassion for ourselves we hate ourselves and feel shame."  I felt bad for that boy, and thank...

I know it's hard to leave your child when they are crying or have them cling to your leg crying, "don't leave me!" BUT, I also know it can go so much better depending on how the parent responds. I have been studying and researching separation anxiety.  What I've been learning and have learned and experienced with my own kids and with teaching preschool I want to propose to you and see if you'd be interested in testing.  1.  Transition item This is just an item that brings her comfort aka a stuffed animal, blanket, family picture etc.   2.  Role playing  It's helpful to role play with items: dolls, stuffed animals, Legos and say something like, "school is tomorrow some kids feel: happy, sad, nervous, worried, scared etc. it's ok to feel however you do. I am going to say bye to you then leave, Mrs. Megan knows what to do and will keep you safe.  I know you're safe and I'll always come back to get you" It can be helpful to have a secret ...