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A Birthday Strategy Every Parent Should Try

Recently, my twins had their birthday. They’d given me a short list of things they wanted, and I was fully prepared to sit down and order everything. But the truth is…I don’t love shopping. The idea of scrolling through pages of products or heading out to a store wasn’t exactly lighting me up. Then it hit me: What if I just gave them the money and let them order their own gifts—and surprise us in the process? When I suggested it, their faces lit up. They were so excited. And honestly, the whole experience turned out to be far more fun than if I had done it myself. What I hadn’t expected was just how much they would learn from it: How to navigate purchasing things online How to cancel an order on Amazon How to compare prices, read reviews, and choose the best product How to budget their money How to wrap a present (always a useful life skill!) The best part? They each spent less than I was originally planning to give them. And on their birthday, we actually got to...
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How Competence Builds Confidence in Kids

 As parents, we all want our kids to grow up confident — to believe in themselves, take initiative, and handle challenges without fear. But true confidence doesn’t come from constant reassurance or praise. It comes from competence. When kids are given chances to do real things for themselves, they begin to see what they’re capable of. That success, however small, fuels their confidence. Then, because they feel more confident, they’re more likely to try new things — which helps them build even more competence. It’s a powerful feedback loop that starts with us stepping back. Think about all the little tasks we do for our kids that they could actually do for themselves. Here are a few simple examples: Let them make their own haircut or dentist appointments . Encourage them to order their own food at a restaurant. If you’re staying at a hotel, have them call the front desk to ask for an extra pillow or find out when breakfast is served. Let them talk to the cashier w...
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Let Your Kids Struggle a Little (It’s a Good Thing!)

As parents, our instinct is to help. We see our child fumbling with a puzzle piece, struggling to tie a shoe, or getting frustrated trying to buckle a seat belt — and we want to jump in. We hate to see them struggle. But here’s the truth: when we step in too quickly, we rob them of the chance to build frustration tolerance — a skill that will serve them in every area of their lives. Frustration tolerance is the ability to stay calm, think, and keep trying even when something feels hard. It’s what helps a child not give up when math homework gets confusing, when a friendship feels tough, or when life throws them challenges later on. So next time your child is working on something — tying shoes, building a Lego set, making a sandwich, making a phone call or finishing that tricky puzzle — resist the urge to take over.   Instead, take a breath, step back, and let them work through it. It might take longer. It might get messy. They might get frustrated. But that’s exactly the point....
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Connection with your kids -3 practical things you can do.

Connection is a feeling.  If you want to feel more connected to your kids then it comes from what you think.   Connection doesn’t have to be complicated—it’s usually the little, consistent things that matter most. Here are three practical things parents can start doing right away: 1. Journal Each night before you go to bed write down something you noticed about your child. Something funny they said or did, something nice they said or did. Anything goes. I have done this for years, and it's so fun to look back on and my kids enjoy it too. I also pay more attention to and notice the good in them. 2. Share their world.  Connection doesn’t only happen in big conversations—it’s in the everyday moments. Show interest in what they care about, even if it's not your thing. Ask questions about their favorite: Youtube video, toy, sport or whatever. Sit next to them while they play a game or play with them (even chess🤪) When you show curiosity about what they care about i...
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The Parenting 4C’s: Connection, Compassion, Confidence, Communication

I was always terrified to have teens. I can honestly say that it's been way more fun than I ever thought. I have worked hard on myself, certified as a life coach, and been coached and continue to get coached A LOT, and have learned to love the way I parent and learned to love my kids for who they are. From 18 years of experience with my own kids, teaching for 19 years and 5+ years of coaching I have found these 4C's are the most beneficial in helping parents in their parenting and maximizing the relationship with their kids. I am teaching a class on each of these 4C's starting in October. You'll learn more about them and how to apply them. All of these in conjunction with coaching make parenting easier and more fun. PLUS it'll help you with your teens. Relationships contribute to our overall happiness. You have the power to create the relationships you want. 1. Connection ➡ Building strong bonds and presence. Learn how to be intentional with time and attenti...
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4 ways to stay calm during a tantrum!

I love this quote by Andy Smithson. "The sign of great parenting isn't the child's behavior.  The sign of truly great parenting is the parent's behavior." This is such a great quote to ponder.   How do I respond when my child is having a tantrum? How do I respond when my kids are fighting? How do I respond when my kid is annoying? How do I respond when my kid won't do what I ask? How we respond makes a HUGE difference in how things will go.  It is hard to stay calm sometimes, but it makes a big difference.  I want to offer a few things that may help you to stay calm. 1.  You don't have to take action right away.  It's very beneficial to wait until you and your child are calm to either talk or enforce consequences. 2.  Take a time out yourself.  I remember feeling so mad at my son that I wanted to throw him in his room.  When I take a min. to be alone it's so much easier to calm down. 3.  I say this to myself, "It's his job to b...
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What to do when you don't know what to do.

What to do when you don't know what to do. Parenting can be hard.  There are times when I don't know what to do when: The kids are fighting. My teen comes home late. My son is having a tantrum. My son is crying. My child can't sleep. I feel mad, annoyed, irritated, etc. and I want to threaten and have all these consequences, but I know in the moment I am reacting.   As much as possible I try to keep my mouth shut until I am calmer so I don't say anything I regret. So here are a few things you can think that will help you to know what to do. 1.  ALLOW whatever feeling you are feeling.  Sometimes I feel bad that I feel annoyed and am not as kind as I'd like to be.  I am actually resisting what I'm feeling and that makes it worse.  So just LET yourself feel whatever you are in the moment.   2. REMIND yourself that this is just a moment.  You won't feel like this forever.  Find a phrase you believe that helps you remember not to react i...
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