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It only takes 5 min. a day

One thing you can do that will change your life is to write for 5 min. a day. Sometimes I think I don't have enough time to write, but when I think it's only for 5 min. my brain is on board and I set a timer and go. What do I write about?  So many things. Just last night I was feeling a little overwhelmed and urgent to get so many things done so I set a timer for 4.37😂 and I wrote all the things I think I should, want, and have to do.  Once I was done I went to bed. Did this solve all my to do's, NO, but I sure felt SO much better and today.  I was able to look over that list and prioritize. Here are a few common journal prompts that I write about. What am I thinking right now? What kind of mom do I want to be today? What kind fo wife do I want to be? What do I want and need? What do I think about so and so (usually I'm writing about my thoughts about a specific child)? What do I enjoy doing? How can I make my life more fun and enjoyable? How can I strengthen my relat
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3 steps for less fighting and yelling at home

I believe it's our job as parents to teach our kids about their emotions.  I think society is getting better with it being more talked about. Here are three steps you can use to start talking more about feelings in your home and as a result have less yelling, fighting, and arguing. This can be so simple when kids are young you can use phrases like, "I notice you seem mad." "I hear loud voices in here." "You have some big feelings." "It's ok to cry." "You seem concerned." Just acknowledging the feeling is the   first step .  That's easy to do with our kids.   The   2nd step   is to ask your child if they were/are feeling more   worried or concerned embarrassed or shy. When we give them options we help them to put a name to what they are feeling.  Often they don't know what they are feeling so we offer suggestions and let them decide. Step 3   get some sort of feelings chart you can hang somewhere. I'm always surprised
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A child's behavior is not a sign of who they are.

Recently we were at my son's soccer game, 15-16 yr old boys.  I do and don't like watching the older kids play because they get so physical.   At one point in the game there was an argument then a player on the opposing team picked up one of our players and threw him to the ground and started wrestling him.  It was crazy!  The ref gave that player a red card, and he was out.   A short time later that player and his dad went to their car which was parked right behind where we were sitting.  I didn't hear anything that was said, but it seemed that there was a lecture going on.   After the game I said to my husband, "that boy didn't want to do that, that's not who he is.  I'm sure he felt so angry that's how he reacted.  He might already feel bad enough that he doesn't need a lecture.  When we do stuff like that and don't have compassion for ourselves we hate ourselves and feel shame."  I felt bad for that boy, and thankfully no one was seriou
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What to do for your child with separation anxiety.

I know it's hard to leave your child when they are crying or have them cling to your leg crying, "don't leave me!" BUT, I also know it can go so much better depending on how the parent responds. I have been studying and researching separation anxiety.  What I've been learning and have learned and experienced with my own kids and with teaching preschool I want to propose to you and see if you'd be interested in testing.  1.  Transition item This is just an item that brings her comfort aka a stuffed animal, blanket, family picture etc.   2.  Role playing  It's helpful to role play with items: dolls, stuffed animals, Legos and say something like, "school is tomorrow some kids feel: happy, sad, nervous, worried, scared etc. it's ok to feel however you do. I am going to say bye to you then leave, Mrs. Megan knows what to do and will keep you safe.  I know you're safe and I'll always come back to get you" It can be helpful to have a secret
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Connection over control

Recently I went live on my FB group @ meganwhitesidescoaching  about connection and control. Here are a few things I said in the video.  If you'd like to watch it click the link above and speed it up to 1.5 or 2x speed and take what you want and leave what you don't. Control - The power to influence or direct people's behavior or the course of events. I like this definition because it says the power to influence.   I believe as parents we have a lot of influence with our kids.  But, we can’t control them. Think about WHY you want to control the things you do.  We often want to control our kids or the environment because we don't want them to struggle, feel bad, and because of how we think it'll make us feel.   The more I try to control my child the less control I actually have. Control the controllable! Make a list of things that are within your control. What can you let go of that you are currently trying so hard to control? This will help you start to understand
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You don't have to hate something to change it.

 "You don't have to hate something to change it." I recently had this ah ha moment with my hair😂. It's long right now and I've been wanting to cut it, but I have found myself telling people, "it's driving me crazy."  "It's so hot."  Then I thought why do I have to justify and hate it to cut it.  I can cut it just because I want to, and I want a change.  I do like my hair, there are some days that it bugs me, but overall it's good.   I know this is a silly example, but it's had me thinking about so many other things in our lives that we might want to change, but we don't have to justify it. If you want to change: jobs, something in your house, yourself, weight, whatever you can just because you want to. Dan Sullivan talks about wanting things just because you want them and you don't need to explain yourself here's a 2 min. video of him explaining it WATCH HERE . How can this apply to parenting?   You don't have t
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A different perspective on TALKING BACK.

Let's talk about talking back.   I hear a lot of parents (especially teen parents) say one of the hardest things is their child talking back.   I think that labeling it "talking back" is part of the problem! FIRST- what does talking back even mean?  We have labeled it as bad, rude, disrespectful, and unacceptable.  I think we as parents are doing just as much talking back as our kids are.  They probably learned it from us. Put yourself in your child's shoes.  How hard would it be to be trying to give your opinion and try to have a discussion with your parent and they automatically say, "don't talk back to me."🙄 It would be SO frustrating as the child to not even be able to say what's on your mind.  No wonder they role their eyes and walk away.   Don't our kids have just as much a right to say what they think?  I'm not saying we let them talk to us however they want and we stand there and listen.  If someone is talking rude to me I will walk
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