When your child says I HATE YOU!

When your child says I hate you don’t take it personally

It makes sense they are saying this.  They don’t have the words to articulate what is really going on.  They don’t like what is going on, and hate it, and it’s natural to blame.  So they hate us.

It’s important we don’t mirror them and hate that they are acting the way they are, and want them to be different.  I promise if you change YOUR approach it will get better.

My kids have said this.  The more attention we give to it the worse it might get.

As much as it seems like we should punish or lecture TRY IGNORING.  

Think deeper.

Why would my child say this?

What is going on for him/her?

How have I contributed to this?

How is my child not regulated?

How much attention am I giving them when they say I hate you?


My son would say I want to push you off a Cliff.  He hasn't said that in a long time.  I would ignore him and give my attention to the behavior I wanted from him.

When something isn’t going how they want of course they want to get rid of the source of the "problem" they think the problem is us saying no or making them do xyz, or they think the problem is a sibling.


Here is what I'd offer to try:

👉🏼Do nothing.

👉🏼You can respond and say, “it’s not your job to like me it’s my job and I like me.”

👉🏼“I love you.”

👉🏼Change the subject or redirect your child to something else.

 Remember it’s very age appropriate and nothing has gone wrong. 

xoxo,
Megan


PS In January I am starting a new Positive Parenting Series.

Learn the 4 C'crets of parenting: Confidence, Connection, Communication, and Coaching.  The tools from coaching and Love and Logic are the secret sauce for feeling more calm and confident as a parent.  

Learn how to communicate so your kids are more likely to listen.
Learn to diminish tantrums.
Learn to coach yourself and your kids.
Learn how to help them express their emotions instead of reacting.Learn how to stop raising your voice/yelling.
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