Empathy - how to teach it to our kids

Recently I was coaching, and someone asked how do I teach empathy? 

I don't think there is one right answer, but the more I have researched and learned about empathy here is what my thoughts are.  I'd be curious what your thoughts are?

First of all I like to define empathy: the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.  

I like the word UNDERSTAND.  Once we understand someone it's a lot easier to mirror their feelings (if we want).  I think we can have empathy and not have to feel what they are feeling.  I also think it's appropriate to feel what they are feeling.

When your child/teen is acting out: yelling, crying, running away, ignoring etc. WHAT COULD BE GOING ON FOR THEM?

Try and understand their point of view, this is empathy.

A few things I think that help me to have more empathy are:

✅They must really be struggling, I wonder why?
✅I can see where they were coming from.
✅I'd act like that too if I were feeling...

I think to teach this modeling is the best way.

I also think we can ask our kids questions about others for example:

🤨 Why do you think that kid is crying?
🧐 Why do you think they did that?
🥸 It seems to me like they must be really: mad, annoyed, frustrated etc.

When I have a preschool child that is frustrated they can't get their shoes on or sleeves correct on their jacket and they start to cry I say, "you must be really frustrated.  It's ok to be frustrated want some help?"

Empathy is HUGE!

I wouldn't worry so much about teach it more so modeling empathy.

What are your thoughts about empathy?

Have a wonderful day!

Megan

PS
I can help you not be so reactive (yelling) to your kids: tantrums, siblings fighting, yelling, teenage drama, etc.
If you feel like you are yelling more than you'd like or that your kids are always fighting or you feel frustrated, annoyed more than you'd like this is my jam, this where I get really passionate about our relationships.  I love coaching parents because for me it's been the BIGGEST help and area I've improved in. 

I have two open 1:1 coaching spots available.  

What coaching is like.
We get on a zoom call you tell me what you'd like help with and I ask you questions, offer tools, tips, teach concepts that I have learned that are helpful. 
Coaching is like a mirror into your brain and what you are creating for yourself.
I have a lot of tools and strategies to offer, that will help.

If you are interested send me a text 435-760-2590.  You are not committing to anything just getting more information.  
When was the last time you invested in yourself?  Do it for you and your kids and your relationships!  You won't regret it.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

A child's behavior is not a sign of who they are.

Recently we were at my son's soccer game, 15-16 yr old boys.  I do and don't like watching the older kids play because they get so physical.   At one point in the game there was an argument then a player on the opposing team picked up one of our players and threw him to the ground and started wrestling him.  It was crazy!  The ref gave that player a red card, and he was out.   A short time later that player and his dad went to their car which was parked right behind where we were sitting.  I didn't hear anything that was said, but it seemed that there was a lecture going on.   After the game I said to my husband, "that boy didn't want to do that, that's not who he is.  I'm sure he felt so angry that's how he reacted.  He might already feel bad enough that he doesn't need a lecture.  When we do stuff like that and don't have compassion for ourselves we hate ourselves and feel shame."  I felt bad for that boy, and thank...
Read more

3 steps for less fighting and yelling at home

I believe it's our job as parents to teach our kids about their emotions.  I think society is getting better with it being more talked about. Here are three steps you can use to start talking more about feelings in your home and as a result have less yelling, fighting, and arguing. This can be so simple when kids are young you can use phrases like, "I notice you seem mad." "I hear loud voices in here." "You have some big feelings." "It's ok to cry." "You seem concerned." Just acknowledging the feeling is the   first step .  That's easy to do with our kids.   The   2nd step   is to ask your child if they were/are feeling more   worried or concerned embarrassed or shy. When we give them options we help them to put a name to what they are feeling.  Often they don't know what they are feeling so we offer suggestions and let them decide. Step 3   get some sort of feelings chart you can hang somewhere. I'm always surprised...
Read more

Use MGI for better relationships!

If you want to feel better and fight less with your teen use  MGI (most generous interpretation) .  I learned this phrase from Dr. Becky Kennedy.   When my son was ornery the other night and a little snippy with everyone.  I thought he's probably tired.  I mentioned it to him and he said yes.  I said, "I know you're tired, you'll feel better in the morning." When my son was getting ready for school and came out and said loudly, "you won't help me."  I noticed he was frustrated and asked why?  He was trying to unstick a bandaid that had stuck together.  I said, "I'll just get you a new one, let's get ready for school." When my son said, "we always have the worst dinners."  I thought he doesn't like this one meal and he's hungry.  I said, "I bet you're hungry if you don't want this you can make yourself some toast." I believe that most people are doing the best they can, that most people have good i...
Read more