Tired of nagging?

Are you tired of nagging your kids to put away their backpack, pick up their towel, put their clothes in the basket, etc.?

Yes?

Here are a few options.

1️⃣ Keep doing what you are doing?  
        Is it working?

2️⃣ Stop caring or you do it.  Some things need to be let go of.  I have a squeegee in my kids shower and have asked them to squeegee it, it happens sometimes.  I decided to let it go because I was tired of nagging them.  Sometimes when I am downstairs and they have recently showered I will squeegee it.  It's not that big of a deal if they don't do it.  Would I prefer it done, yes.  But, I'd rather not nag about that. 
Or what about them taking their shoes off in the garage instead of the mud room?  Would I prefer them off in the garage, yes.  But, I'm not going to nag about that.  I have decided that the relationship is more important, and stop caring if they take their shoes off in the garage or in the mud room.  I then put their shoes in the garage.

Now there are some things I do want to care about and enforce.

3️⃣ Teach THEM to remember.  With my 15 year old he has started to put alarms in his phone to help him remember.  With my nine year old he kept forgetting to turn a paper in to school for a field trip to the zoo.  He said, "I keep forgetting."  I asked, "how are you going to remember?"  He said, "will you tell me?"  I said, "let's think of a way you could do it."  We brainstormed.  He wrote on a sticky note turn in zoo paper and put it on his backpack.  The next day it was there for him to see.  He got it turned in.
If they forget, and they will.  We can gently remind and then work on teaching them techniques for them to remember on their own.

4️⃣ Make it fun.  Talk in a silly voice when you ask your kids to do something.  Give them a choice of when it gets done.  Have them set a timer and see how fast they can do the dishes.  Set up your phone on time lapse and then watch it afterwards (this always works well for my younger kids).  Turn on music.  Turn it into a game.  

Lastly, be patient with yourself and your kids.  I still get in moods where I will start nagging and demanding that everyone put their stuff away or whine a little, "come on, put your dishes in the dishwasher."  Allowing them to do it on their own time (within a set time that you both agreed upon). I have one kid that likes to get his jobs done first thing in the morning and another that will wait until the evening or until he's ready to go somewhere and I say, "you are welcome to go once the bathroom is cleaned."

What would you add to this list?

Have a lovely day.
Megan

PS I am a life and parenting coach.  I help parents stop yelling, connect with their kids, communicate differently (especially with those teens), learn to respond instead of react, and so much more.

CLICK HERE for a free coaching/consult session.  We can take a look at your specific situation.  Coaching is like a mirror into your brain to help you see what you are creating in your life.  Ironically when we change other people change.  

        
 

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