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Showing posts from April, 2024

Parenting made EASIER.

We ask ourselves questions all the time. A lot of time we don't answer the questions. Often they are poor questions we are asking.   So, set a timer for 5-10 min. and start writing.   What kind of mom do I want to be? How can I have more fun with my kids? How can I connect with my kids? What kind of mom do I want to be when my child yells at me, talks back, whines, forgets to put away their stuff, etc.?  Being specific will help us actually respond instead of react. What are the parameters that I set to know I'm a "good mom". How can I measure if I'm making progress? What rules/expectations do I want to follow through with? What does my child need when he/she is having a tantrum? What was my child feeling right before he/she yelled? What do I need so I can be calm and respond instead of react? If you take time to answer these, I know you will see results in your family.  Being a parent is hard, and there isn't one right way.  BUT, when we feel like we are bein

What most parents think

When your kids are fighting what do you usually do? When your child says something rude to you what do you usually do? When your teen comes home late what do you do? When your toddler spills their entire bowl of cereal and milk what do you do? It's easy to react and yell at them or say something you later regret.   If I could teach you ONE THING to help it would be to PAUSE.   Most parents think that things need to be handled, addressed, dealt with in the moment.  But, pausing and waiting are SO beneficial.   There is always an option to pause and take a deep breath before we react.  This allows for a more calm response.  Sometimes I will let a few days go by.  It's still on my mind and we still talk about it or enforce a consequence.  But, waiting allows me to calm down and not say anything I wished I hadn't.   Recently one of my kids said something rude on the way home from school.  There was an even he didn't want to attend because he'd be missing something else

How to have less sibling fights in your home

Do you kids fight? I think they all do to some extent.   The more I learn, study, test and apply I learn what does and doesn't work.  Here are a few things you can do that will help to have less sibling fights and contention in your home. 1.  Think good about your child.  This is possible, but not always easy to do.  I like to make it a practice.  Here is what I like to do.  Most days at the end of the day I like to write down something I noticed about my kids.  Something kind, cute, funny, they did or said.  I also have a picture of them on the mirror in my bathroom as I get ready I like to look at those pictures and think how cute, kind, sweet, fun, and funny they are.  I like to ask myself, why am I thankful for _______? 2.  Compassion  Compassion is understanding.  Why are they fighting?  Usually one or both kids are feeling: mad, sad, frustrated, annoyed, irritated, bugged, upset, etc.  When we can PAUSE and remember they are good and are feeling ______ that allows us to enter

Don't give up

 I have been helping a few people that have said, "I'm done."  One lady is a 74 year old grandma that is helping raise three teens.   I get it, parenting is hard.  It's SO worth it.  For the growth that we get, but also for the kids.  Don't give up on you or them.   Parenting doesn't have to be so hard.  I think we make it WAY harder than it needs to be.  We make things a big deal that don't need to be.  We have many rules that must be followed.  We try and control it all.  I have a free resource you can get  HERE  that will help you decide what is important to you and what you do want to control.  It will also help you to get your kids to do things you want, without nagging, yelling, or reminding 80x. I'm not saying any of this is wrong. But, I'm offering a different perspective.  What if we only had a handful of things we enforced?  It would make your job as the parent easier.   I know we love our kids, but sometimes forget to FEEL LOVE.  When we