How to have less sibling fights in your home

Do you kids fight?

I think they all do to some extent.  

The more I learn, study, test and apply I learn what does and doesn't work. 

Here are a few things you can do that will help to have less sibling fights and contention in your home.

1.  Think good about your child. 
This is possible, but not always easy to do.  I like to make it a practice.  Here is what I like to do.  Most days at the end of the day I like to write down something I noticed about my kids.  Something kind, cute, funny, they did or said.  I also have a picture of them on the mirror in my bathroom as I get ready I like to look at those pictures and think how cute, kind, sweet, fun, and funny they are.  I like to ask myself, why am I thankful for _______?

2.  Compassion 
Compassion is understanding.  Why are they fighting?  Usually one or both kids are feeling: mad, sad, frustrated, annoyed, irritated, bugged, upset, etc.  When we can PAUSE and remember they are good and are feeling ______ that allows us to enter the situation with compassion and not jump in and yell.  I like to say something to the effect, "wow, you seem really mad, what's going on?"  "I notice you are angry, let me give you a hug."  Sometimes I won't say anything because I don't know what to say, but I'll try and hug them.  This allows them to calm down.  When we are both calm I can then LISTEN to them and understand what they were feeling.  Doesn't mean that the mean behavior is ok.  When I AM CALM THIS ALLOWS FOR MY CHILD TO LOOK INWARD AT THEIR BEHAVIOR and not outward and be mad at me for yelling etc.

3. Connection
This will look differently for different people.  Connection can happen in the moment of the fight by offering a hug or smile.  Connection should also take place throughout the day: putting your phone down to listen, going on dates with your child, inquiring about what your kids are interested in, laughing together, playing games, sending texts, spending time together for a few min., really listen and connect, and countless other things you can do to connect with your kids.  

Practicing these three things will help decrease fighting and contention in your home.  If this seems hard, not natural, or you don't know how, I can help you.  I am a parenting coach and preschool teacher and have a lot experience with both.  This has allowed me to help parents stop yelling, have more fun, feel less annoyed, frustrated, and know how to pause and respond instead of react, and so much more!  I coach you 1:1 and offer parenting tools to help you apply them.  You can click here to get a free coaching session.


Take care,
Megan

I want to invite you to a workshop Wednesday, April 17 @1:00 MT How to Connect with your kids so they listen.  It'll help you have less fighting, yelling, tears and tantrums in your home.  It's only $20.  Click HERE for more details.  


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