How to get relationships you like

The way we think about our kids is how we experience them.  If I think my son is such a brat, I'm going to see ALL the times he is a brat.  If I think you're always irritating everyone, I'm going to see ALL the little irritating things my son does.  This is a negative cycle and will continue UNTIL I make a change. 
YES, it would be great if my kids changed, but that's not likely. 

AWARENESS is the first step. 
STOP AND DO THIS
Take 10 min. and write down this question:
What am I currently thinking about (child's name here)?

IT is KEY that you don't edit this.  Let all your thoughts come out (you don't have to show anyone).  This will give you the awareness.  

NOW, the next question is:  Do I want to change anything about this relationship?

If it's a no, then that's just good to know, own it.
If it's a yes, then we have to start challenging some of the things you wrote down.

Keep your same paper and notice if you use the words always and never?  If you have written on there ALWAYS or NEVER circle them.

For example if I wrote:  My son is always a brat, he never helps, he's always on his phone...

Notice how many times I wrote those words.  This matters because what we think will continue to show up in our life.  
Question that thought.  Is my son ALWAYS a brat?  Actually, no.
Question that thought.  Does he NEVER help?  Actually, no yesterday when I asked him to put his shoes away he did.
Question that thought.  Is he is ALWAYS on his phone?  Actually, no he's on it for x hours a day.

START to look for when your child is behaving the way you want.  
NOTICE them.  Say, "I notice you are not on your phone."  "I notice you have a good attitude."  

This may be a stretch so if it's hard, that's OK.  Change isn't easy, and it's so important to have relationships you like.  One way to help with that is by getting coached.

You are worth it, your child is worth it.  

What coaching does is helps me gain awareness to what I am thinking and noticing if it's beneficial to my life.  No one has to get coached, but it sure makes life more enjoyable.  I spent $18k on getting certified as a coach and I have been in a coaching program for almost 7 years.  It has changed my life.  My life actually looks a lot the same, BUT I FEEL SO MUCH MORE EMPOWERED.  I know what to do when I am struggling.  I feel SO much compassion for others.  I feel SO much more love.  
Don't misunderstand this is not all the time.  I still feel frustrated, annoyed, mad, and bugged too, those emotions just don't stick around very long.  I know HOW to handle them.  

I have a killer summer deal for YOU!

COACHING for relationships you like.
4 session for $175, I WANT THIS
Do yourself a favor and get coaching.  It will change your life,  I have a $ back guarantee.  If you aren't satisfied when we are through I'll give you your $ back.  You've got nothing to lose.

Take care, 
Megan

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