Megan Whitesides Coaching

Recently I had the privilege of talking about my mom on a podcast   LISTEN HERE .  I love talking about her.   It's been almost two years since she's been gone.  Feels like FOREVER.   With any major life change comes challenges.  I have been SO thankful for the coaching tools I have and for my belief in Jesus an my Heavenly Father.   On the podcast I share one tool that has been so helpful for me with the other relationships I have.  I believe relationships are SO important and that we have an obligation to LOVE everyone and be kind even if they aren't.  The tool of the manual has been most beneficial for me because it allows me to let go of how I think other people should be. In a nutshell the manual is how we think other people should or shouldn't be.  Here are a few examples. 🌻 She should call me to talk. 🌻 He should text me and not call me. 🌻 He should put his stuff away. 🌻 She should text me before coming over. 🌻 He should take out the trash, make the bed, et

When your child says I hate you don’t take it personally It makes sense they are saying this.  They don’t have the words to articulate what is really going on.  They don’t like what is going on, and hate it, and it’s natural to blame.  So they hate us. It’s important we don’t mirror them and hate that they are acting the way they are, and want them to be different.  I promise if you change YOUR approach it will get better. My kids have said this.  The more attention we give to it the worse it might get. As much as it seems like we should punish or lecture TRY IGNORING.   Think deeper. Why would my child say this? What is going on for him/her? How have I contributed to this? How is my child not regulated? How much attention am I giving them when they say I hate you? My son would say I want to push you off a Cliff.  He hasn't said that in a long time.  I would ignore him and give my attention to the behavior I wanted from him. When something isn’t going how they want of course they w

"Speak to your children as if they are the wisest, kindest, most beautiful and magical humans on the earth for what they believe is what they will become." - Brooke Hampton. Have you ever thought about this for you too?  How do you speak to yourself?   Last night my son drew a picture of a snowboarder.  I looked at it later and asked if he drew it and said, "I'm impressed this is great."  He said, "it kind of sucks."  I said hey that's not ok to talk to yourself like that.  If you don't like it that's ok, but what else could you think?  That you tried?  Next time you could do better?  It's important to pay attention to how you talk to yourself. I'm sure that won't change anything from that one time I told him that, but I'm hoping over time he will start to talk to himself more positively.   How we talk to ourselves MATTERS!  What is your inner dialogue?  What do you say to yourself when you look in the mirror? What do you sa

I know I make parenting harder than it needs to be.  I also know how to make it not so hard.  One of the reasons it feels so hard is because we want to control SO much.  Letting go of control is one skill that will shift everything in your life and make you life feel easier and you will feel more free. When I practice these few things parenting FEELS so much easier.   I am able to enjoy my kids more, I am able to be in the moment, I am way less reactive, and so much more. It just makes life more enjoyable.   Less tears, frustration, anger, annoyance, and confusion. In my program Embracing Calm - a better relationship with your teens I teach these six pillars in more detail and coach you.  Coaching is where the magic happens.   They are: -To be proactive not reactive. -Communicate effectively so the likelihood of them listening goes up. -What's in your control so you can control that. -Look for the good so you can start to see more and have a better relationship. -How to make your

So much of our relationships are our thoughts about the other person.   If you are having a hard time with anyone START with your thoughts.  What do you think about that person.  This isn't for you to feel bad about yourself for how you are thinking.   TRY THIS👇🏻 One thing I do almost every day is take a few minutes at the end of the day and write one thing about each of my kids. I have a lined sheet of paper for each child with their name at the top.  I spent a few moments and think about them.  I write something nice they did, something I noticed, something funny they said or did.   Our brains are SO good at looking for evidence to support what we are thinking so this helps me to look for the good in them and make a mental note of it.  I FEEL so much better about them which improves our relationship.   No one is perfect so I still get plenty of frustration and annoyance, but I know how to help feel less of the negative emotions. If you want to feel less frustrated and more in

  I often hear, "I don't even know what to say to him/her.  I don't know how to talk to him/her."  Referring to their teen.   I've been there too when I don't know what to say.  When you tell yourself you don't know what to say, it makes it really hard to know what to say to your teen.   I'm referring to day to day conversations. Here are a few things you can try. Be more specific in your questions.  Instead of, "how was school, work, track, lunch, basketball, etc." Try:   What was the best part of your day? Did anything funny happen? What do you love about... Who did you eat lunch with? What's your favorite class? What do you like about your team? One easy thing that will get your teen talking is to ask about the things they are interested in, then REALLY listen.  Ask, "when is a good time to talk about": that date, the dance, what they did hanging out with friends, how was the movie, work, etc.  Tell them about something you a

A few weeks ago I was on The Untangling Anxiety podcast with Betsy Russell.  I love Besty.  She and I met a few years ago when I was Momentum Coaching in Alison J. Prince's Next Level program.   Betsy started out selling jewelry and has since evolved her business into helping people/families with anxiety.  I love what Betsy is doing.   In the episode (click here)  I share a few things you can do to help have a better relationship with your teen (or anyone you want a better relationship with). 1. Awareness- of what you are thinking about the other person.  One way I love to gain awareness is by writing.  Get out a piece of paper and set a timer for 5 min. and write all about what you think about them.  Don't edit or judge it.  You can throw it away.  When I do this sometimes it's not very nice, but it's so powerful.   2. Question- if you want to keep the thoughts you are having.  Our thoughts cause our feelings so if you feel "negative" about any relationship t

Maybe you've heard the advice not to go to bed angry. I don't like that advice.  I think it's totally ok to go to bed angry.   If you are feeling mad at your teen for: coming home late, talking back, being disrespectful, etc. and you are trying to talk to them and you start to raise your voice, interrupt, not be willing to listen.  I want to offer that you say something like: "I'm feeling mad and I don't want to say anything rude or that I regret, I'm going to bed.  We can talk tomorrow." I promise you will feel SO much better the next day and be able to think more clearly and not say anything rude or that you regret.   If you want to take this a step further I offer that you write down all the things you are thinking.  When we are feeling mad it usually is coming from thoughts like: she's such a brat, he's such a jerk, she's so rude, he is so ungrateful etc.  You are feeling the way you are because of what you are thinking not because of y