Megan Whitesides Coaching

Do you know what doesn't motivate teens? Threats - this might get you short term results with resentment. Rewards/bribes - again short term.  No lasting change. Consequences - more resentment. I'm not saying you don't ever have consequences just use them sparingly and as often as possible have it be a natural consequence. What does motivate teens?   Helping them see who they are becoming.  Most teens are thinking about the here and now.  If you can help them visualize their future they will start to do things and make changes that will make their lives better. Help them see that what they are doing is for THEIR benefit. Ask them questions such as: How do you think getting enough sleep effects you?  How do you feel when you don't get enough sleep? What kind of food feels good in your body? What can you do now to earn more $? What kind of house do you want to have?   How do you want people to remember you after high school? Have them make their own ...

 Parent from a place where your kids don't have to lie or be sneaky! I woke up recently around 4:00 am with this phrase in my head.  I quickly wrote it down then went back to sleep. I have been thinking about it lately.   As humans we lie or are sneaky because we don't want to get in trouble, OR we don't want to disappoint someone.  So why would our kids lie or sneak? Again, not get in trouble and because they want to do something they think we'd say no to. How would parenting more honestly change your family? Instead of telling your kids no you can't watch Youtube.  Be honest.  What's the real reason? Maybe you're scared they'll watch something inappropriate or they will watch too long?  I'm not saying being honest will make them understand and be like, "ok thanks mom I get it now."  Having honest conversations will strengthen your relationship. They are still going to whine and complain.  That's their job as kids is to push back. ...

A lot of contention happens with our kids when we just assume things. We assume they heard us say it's dinner time, or make your bed, I'm leaving, or something else.  We then feel frustrated because they are so disrespectful and don't listen. Let me help.   Try: 👉🏼Making eye contact.  Often we are hollering to them from another room and both of us are busy with something else. 👉🏼Using a quieter voice.  When the norm is to yell or be loud if we are more quiet they may pay more attention.  WHISPER like a secret, "would you please put away your laundry?" 👉🏼Asking them to repeat back to you what you told them. 👉🏼Asking them, "did you hear what I said?" So often our kids tune us out like we tune them out.  This doesn't mean they are disrespectful.  We are all humans and doing out best.   Sometimes when my kids are telling me or asking me something I've tuned them out I'll say, "I'm sorry I wasn't listening, I am now."  So...

The more I study parenting, emotions, brain development, human development etc.  I've concluded that parenting is about the parent.   Parenting is about:  learning to respond and not react. learning to control our emotions. learning to let go of control. LOVING UNCONDITIONALLY. learning to take care of yourself emotionally so you're not so phased when something happens or your child does something you don't like (and they will). learning to have uncomfortable conversations. learning to LOVE yourself when we mess up (we will, often). learning to apologize again, and again, and again. being kind even when you don't feel like it. learning to deal with hard things and knowing you will be ok. teaching through the way you live your life, not the words you say. learning new skills. connecting with your child with things they like. being patient with your child and yourself. learning the rules of the road again (teaching kids to drive). not being so serious. learning to laug...

Confidence is the belief that one can rely on someone or something.  Firm trust.  Assurance about something. How do you think your parenting and relationships would change if you felt more confident? Would you be so worried about your son? Would you checking your daughter's location as frequently? Would you be stressed about the decision of sending your 4/5 YO to school or holding them back another year because they have a summer birthday? If you felt more confident these things would feel easier. You'd feel confident in your decision to send your child or keep them back, and you wouldn't question yourself after you've made the decision. I want to teach you how to feel more confident in your decisions too.  Confidence can be tricky because there isn't a tangible way to measure it.   Here are a few questions to ask yourself to help you understand when you will know if you are more confident. What would I do if I felt more confident in my: parenting, relationship ...

Coaching is KEY to not fighting with your kids.  Coaching YOURSELF. When I am in control of my emotions I act instead of react.  I don't fight.  I am not perfect at this, but have gotten SO much better as I have practiced: coaching myself, getting coaching, meditation, reading, praying etc. Today I want to offer you one thing you can do today to start coaching yourself. #1  Write down EVERYTHING you are thinking.   I tend to do this when I am feeling negatively about one of my kids.  What I write often is not nice that's why I'm feeling negative.  I don't want my child to see this, but it's important to be honest with yourself and bring it all up and not judge yourself for it.   After you have written it all down ask yourself WHY AM I CHOOSING to think this?  I know it doesn't feel like I'm choosing it, but I am.   When things are a choice sometimes it's easier to let go.   So after I have written down my current...

Hi, Communication can tricky because there is what is said and what we make it mean.  Vice versa what we say and what others make it mean. What is said. What is heard. How it's interpreted. What's the first thing your kids hear when they wake up, get home from school, home from a friends house, spill something? How are we approaching our kids?   Are we blaming?  OR Asking questions.  You didn’t do your chores.    vs.   What did you get done that I asked you to? You didn’t do your reading    vs.    Tell me about the book you are reading right now. Have you read                                                                               today? You didn’t ask to…        ...