Megan Whitesides Coaching

Are you tired of nagging your kids to put away their backpack, pick up their towel, put their clothes in the basket, etc.? Yes? Here are a few options. 1️⃣ Keep doing what you are doing ?             Is it working? 2️⃣ Stop caring or you do it.   Some things need to be let go of.  I have a squeegee in my kids shower and have asked them to squeegee it, it happens sometimes.  I decided to let it go because I was tired of nagging them.  Sometimes when I am downstairs and they have recently showered I will squeegee it.  It's not that big of a deal if they don't do it.  Would I prefer it done, yes.  But, I'd rather not nag about that.  Or what about them taking their shoes off in the garage instead of the mud room?  Would I prefer them off in the garage, yes.  But, I'm not going to nag about that.  I have decided that the relationship is more important, and stop caring if they take their shoes off ...

Recently I was coaching, and someone asked how do I teach empathy?  I don't think there is one right answer, but the more I have researched and learned about empathy here is what my thoughts are.  I'd be curious what your thoughts are? First of all I like to define empathy: the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.   I like the word UNDERSTAND.  Once we understand someone it's a lot easier to mirror their feelings (if we want).  I think we can have empathy and not have to feel what they are feeling.  I also think it's appropriate to feel what they are feeling. When your child/teen is acting out: yelling, crying, running away, ignoring etc. WHAT COULD BE GOING ON FOR THEM? Try and understand their point of view, this is empathy. A few things I think that help me to have more empathy are: ✅They must really be struggling, I wonder why? ✅I can see where they were coming from. ✅I'd act like that too if I were feeling... I think to teach t...

When my kids have a tantrum or any kind, one thing I think that makes it a little bit easier to stay calm is to think, "this is so good for you." So often as parents we want to "fix" or "help" our child.  We don't want them to feel sad, disappointed, discouraged, frustrated, but guess what IT'S SO GOOD FOR THEM.  If we allow them to feel whatever they are feeling this is teaching them, they can handle it.  It's teaching them, it's not a problem, it's teaching them, they don't need food, video games, or other buffers to numb it or get away from the feeling. I know it's hard and we don't want them to feel sad their friends were being mean.  Frustrated because they can't master a skill.  Disappointed because they didn't make the team.  When we just allow them to have their experience and believe them and not try to help or fix you'll be amazed how quickly they move through it and move on.    👉🏼Recently one of my...

We were recently traveling with some friends and one of them asked my husband and I what we're doing well or what's going well in our parenting. This was a great question to reflect on.   So I want to ask you what are you doing well or what's going good in your parenting? Get out a piece of paper and write for a few min. about this.   Tomorrow I will share with you a few of the things we said.  One thing may surprise you. Don't base this on your child's success or lack there of.  Think about how you feel.  What do you like that you do? Here are just a few other questions that I thought of you may want to ponder? What's important to you? How do I know I'm a "good" parent? What would a "good" parent think and do? What's going well with (specific child)? If you have a hard time with this that's ok.  I used to not be able to think of anything I was doing well until I learned coaching tools and applied them to myself and I saw the most...

I love to read to my kids.  Sometimes I'm tired and don't want to. I want my kids to brush their teeth.  Sometimes they are tired and don't want to. When I am tired and ready for them to go to bed I get more demanding and impatient.   Just like me when they are tired they get more demanding and impatient. I don't like being demanding and impatient.  Thankfully this is not the norm and what is the norm is to BE PATIENT and make things MORE FUN. Thankfully through coaching I have learned to be more patient and make things fun come more naturally and easily, I can help you make that your norm too. One way to do that is by asking myself good questions. How can I make this more fun? The purpose of the task is to strengthen the relationship. What kind of mom do I want to be? How can I get what I want done the fastest? We can get our kids to do what we want by being demanding, but it's not helping our relationships.  Try having more fun.   Turn things in...

  Don't ask you kids WHY? Just kidding, actually I really like the question why, but when you ask it out of frustration and anger it's not really useful. When your kids are fighting and one hurts the other we often jump in and say, "WHY did you do that?"  If they break something or spill something and we ask why, they don't have an answer. In situations like this I don't think asking why is very useful. They aren't in their thinking brain and will often start to defend themselves.  Which will turn into a fight. SO........ To get better answers and get our kids into their thinking brain I recommend asking open ended questions and get curious.  We first have to learn to manage our own feelings so we aren't so reactive.  When WE learn to stay calm then we are able to get curious and asking these types of questions comes more naturally and easily. Why do you think you were mad? What were you feeling? What's going on? Help me understand why... What can ...

How do you feel when you hear or say GOOD JOB!  For me it's kind of bleh.  Not much emotion. When talking to our kids and we say good job, it's fine, but it's not very powerful.  What if our words could convey more feeling? What if you could make someone's day just by saying something you notice about them. Good job isn't specific, it's not real powerful, and it's easy to say.  We don't have to think much. When I use my brain to think harder and think about something more specific it feels better to me and to my kids. Here are a few examples: I notice you put your shoes away. I noticed how nicely you played with your sister. I noticed how you tried to help your siblings when they were fighting. I noticed how hard you tried. I liked when you talked to your teacher about that problem. I notice how kind you are to your friends. I noticed you made your bed. I'm proud of you. Wow, I can tell you cleaned. How good does it feel to be NOTICED? Taking time t...