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Showing posts from October, 2023

Free Resource - 5 simple steps to get your kids to do what you want (Parenting audit).

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I have created a free parenting audit for you.  Click Here    In this five page parenting audit.  I ask you simple questions to help you understand your why for the things you do and want your kids to do.   What your priorities are as the parent.   It'll take 15-30 min. to go through, but will give you so much clarity.   It's always so helpful to reflect on why you do what you do. Here is what clients have said: Is it time to get help with your relationship?  Don't worry it doesn't have to be an uncomfortable process.  People find it very empowering.  My process is simple and it assumes the best of everyone involved.  It helps you find solutions to areas where you feel stuck.   If you are ready to chat and want to feel more: peace, calm and ease in your relationships click  HERE  for a relationship consultation.  Take care, Megan You can find more help  on IG , come say hello.  

How to make a challenging relationship EASIER

Relationships are simple and complicated at the same time. Simple because a relationship is... our thoughts about the other person.   Complicated because of the words and actions of others and what we make that mean. To simplify it more if you want a better relationship with your: spouse, teen, son, daughter, mom, dad, mother or father in law all you have to do is think better about them .   A few tips to thinking better about them is: It has to be believable to you. Baby step it.  It's hard to jump from he's such a brat to he's delightful.  How about He's a human just like me. It takes practice to believe something new. Here are a few examples of shifts you can try to make. ❌Think they are so difficult. ✅Think they are doing the best they can. ❌Think he/she is such a brat. ✅Think he/she is a human just like me. ❌Think my mom should text instead of call... ✅Think she should do whatever she wants. ❌Think my child is so whiny. ✅Think it's so nice she feels comforta

How to stop yelling at your kids

Every interaction you have with your child is an opportunity for you to evaluate yourself. Every eye role. Every snarky comment. Every tantrum. Every time they "talk back". Every time they ask and we say no, and they don't like it.   Evaluate why this is hard for you to hear.   We have the opportunity to respond instead of react. Respond with:  patience, kindness, silence, or love. When we react we usually get snappy, sarcastic, yell, raise our voices, or do the very same thing our kids do.   How do we respond calmly?  1.  AWARENESS - Be aware of what you are thinking.  It's hard to do in the moment so reflect on incidences when you didn't respond how you would like. 2. WRITE - down everything you were thinking before you responded the way you did.  Some of my thoughts that cause me to not show up not how I want are: this is so annoying, are you seriously crying about this, seriously, this is so dumb etc.  PAY ATTENTION to what you are thinking. 3. BREATH - take t

Why is this a problem?

I recently got coached and said I was feeling judgmental and negative about my kid's bad behavior.  The coach asked me,  "why is this a problem?"   She continued do you want to feel good about their behavior in these situations?  No, I don't.   I had this aha where I thought IT'S OK FOR YOU TO FEEL MAD ABOUT THEM YELLING AT YOU AND CALLING YOU NAMES.  NOW HOW DO I WANT TO RESPOND?  Maybe you are better at this than I am?   Answering the question  how do I want to respond when my kids are fighting, yelling or being mean to me?     I was recently coaching someone that was asking about her babies sleep schedule.  The baby was sleeping through the night, but waking around 5 am then eating and sleeping until 9 am.  I asked,  "why is this a problem?"  She replied I guess it's not. Asking yourself, "why is this a problem?"  w ill help you gain some insight.  You may even answer that it's not a problem.  If it is a problem dig deeper and ask yo

Why you should work on your relationship with your teen.

There are so many reasons having a great relationship with your teen is SO important.   A study in Science Daily said that, " A high-quality relationship was one where teenagers felt they could discuss their problems with their parents and that their parents respected their feelings". You can find the full article here .  The article also said having a good relationship decreases teen's substance abuse. I don't think you have to know all the science to know it's a good to work on your relationships.  Here are a few of my own findings for why having a great relationship is SO important. 1.  It's easier to talk to your teen.  Connection first will keep open communication, it's easier to talk about little and big things. 2.  It's more fun and enjoyable to be a parent. 3.  I feel more confident in myself and know that I'm doing my best, and that regardless of what my teens do or don't do is up to them.  This doesn't mean I let them do whatever

How to have a great relationship with your teen.

I have a new program I think you're going to like.  If you have teens you know how challenging it can be sometimes to: talk to them, connect with them, get them to help out, not be so moody, and more.  Because it's new I have an introductory rate for which it's being offered.   I have found six pillars that have made my relationship with my teens so much more enjoyable. Before I had kids and when my kids were young I was scared to have teens.  I thought I didn't know how to talk to them.  I thought they were weird and obnoxious.   I can confidently say that is not the case.  I have two teens and we have a great relationship.  It's easy to parent when things are going well, but what about when things aren't going well? That's where I come in.  I have coaching tools that will help you as the parent and in turn helps your teen.   We aren't given a manual when we leave the hospital for how to raise kids.  We often do what our parents did.   It's possible

3 shifts you can make when you think your teen is being disrespectful.

3 shifts you can make when you think your teen is being disrespectful. 1. Allow their opinion - So often we judge or label their opinion as being disrespectful.  I think if we (the parents) can calm down and just let them speak, and think that this is just their opinion we will be free of so many minor arguments.  It's ok if they want a new phone, new shoes, or don't want to invite friends over because they don't like your house.  It's just their opinion!  We have opinions too. 2. What if they aren’t complaining, just venting? - Sometimes everything we hear out of our teens mouth is complaining.  What if it's not?   What if they are just venting or just voicing their opinion.  Sometimes I will say to my kids, "my ears are hearing complaining."  My son will say, "I'm not complaining, I'm just telling you."  Often we want the complaining to stop and interrupt our kids and don't respect them because of what we hear.  If we think they are

Why is this a problem?

I recently got coached and said I was feeling judgmental and negative about my kid's bad behavior.  The coach asked me,  "why is this a problem?"   She continued do you want to feel good about their behavior in these situations?  No, I don't.   I had this aha where I thought IT'S OK FOR YOU TO FEEL MAD ABOUT THEM YELLING AT YOU AND CALLING YOU NAMES.  NOW HOW DO I WANT TO RESPOND?   Maybe you are better at this than I am?   Answering the question  how do I want to respond when my kids are fighting, yelling or being mean to me?  This is a much more useful question. I was recently coaching someone that was asking about her babies sleep schedule.  The baby was sleeping through the night, but waking around 5 am then eating and sleeping until 9 am.  I asked,  "why is this a problem?"  She thought for a moment and said, "I guess it's not." Asking yourself, "why is this a problem?"  w ill help you gain some insight.  You may even answer

Face the awkward

I witnessed an experience recently where a few people weren't willing to face the awkwardness or the feeling of being uncomfortable.  They avoided it and talked about it, but never did it.  We would rather avoid "difficult/awkward" conversations than just face it and feel awkward.  IT'S JUST A FEELING.  So I offer two words, Just ask. If you aren't sure of something, just ask.  If you have heard something about someone and you aren't sure instead of asking your friend or neighbor go to the source and, just ask. If you are curious about your teenager doing something you don't think is "good", just ask.   I like to preface my "awkward" conversations with the a few phrases such as: ๐Ÿ‘‰๐ŸผHelp me understand ๐Ÿ‘‰๐ŸผThis is kind of uncomfortable but... ๐Ÿ‘‰๐ŸผI have heard... I just want to clarify. ๐Ÿ‘‰๐ŸผI am trying to be more honest in my life and... ๐Ÿ‘‰๐ŸผI'm not sure how to say this... We would free ourselves of so much mind drama if we'd simp

Invite them

  One easy way to have a better relationship with your teen is to invite them. Invite them to: Play a game with the family. Play Pickleball Go on a bike ride Get a treat or some food. Come to the gas station for a drink. Watch a show. If your teen is like mine sometimes it's hard to get them to do stuff with the rest of the family.  A lot of time it'll be a no from them, but occasionally it'll be a yes.   They aren't in your home too much longer so make sure to spend time together.  Make it fun too.  Food is always a great way to get them involved.   You may be surprised what they will do with you if you simply invite them to join you. Don't make it a guilt trip either.  REALLY enjoy their company and the time spent together.   Adios Amigo, Megan PS If you want a great relationship with your teen I can help click   HERE   for a free relationship audit.